Random Dungeon Graffiti Table

People scribble graffiti everywhere else, so why not dungeons? Lamentations, boasts, memorials, waymarks, gossip, threats, warnings, cryptic oddities -- they're all in there.

And for more variety, I have included two bonus tables, one for the graffiti's medium, and one for the language. You might want to roll the message first, because not all languages and media will be appropriate to every message. Or, skip rolling and just pick what you like. Enjoy!

Random Graffiti Medium Table - Roll 3d6

3	Raised letters in stone formed by Shape Stone spell
4	Chiseled into stone
5	Etched into stone
6	Scratched into stone
7	Scratched in dirt or dust
8	Blood
9	Mud
10	Paint
11	Chalk
12	Charcoal
13	Whitewash
14	Ochre
15	Ashes
16	Fresh blood
17	Carefully painted calligraphy
18	Carefully painted calligraphy that glows magically

Random Graffiti Language Table - Roll 3d6

3	Old High Draconic
4	A sacred church language
5	Goblin
6	Elvish
7	Common, but in an ususual regional dialect
8 - 13	Common
14	Common, but in an archaic dialect
15	Dwarvish
16	Orcish
17	An ancient script -- roll vs. Hidden Lore (Ancient Languages) to decipher, or use magic
18	Demontongue

Random Dungeon Graffiti Table - Roll 1d6, 1d6, 1d6

1, 1, 1  "Dorran, look for us in the white ch"

1, 1, 2  An arrow on the floor pointing 3 degrees east of north

1, 1, 3  16 tally marks

1, 1, 4  "Safer in the dark"

1, 1, 5  "Second sortie"

1, 1, 6  "Clear"

1, 2, 1  "Stranger, know that Hemmond the Brave died here"

1, 2, 2  "Bad water past here"

1, 2, 3  "Silence"

1, 2, 4  "Stairs" with an arrow

1, 2, 5  12 times 65 worked out in arithmetic

1, 2, 6  "Terror"

1, 3, 1  "Watch for spiders"

1, 3, 2  "Gods preserve us"

1, 3, 3  A map of the immediate area

1, 3, 4  "Ghost"

1, 3, 5  "Fought raiders here"

1, 3, 6  "Sen is a thief"

1, 4, 1  "The curse of the Empty Mind on those who stray from the path"

1, 4, 2  "Morra was right"

1, 4, 3  "Never trust a goblin"

1, 4, 4  "Revenge"

1, 4, 5  "5th camp"

1, 4, 6  "Angels watch"

1, 5, 1  "The demon is with me still"

1, 5, 2  "Can't kill"

1, 5, 3  "Treasure gone"

1, 5, 4  "Alone"

1, 5, 5  "Never never never never never never"

1, 5, 6  "Outlet must be near"

1, 6, 1  "Not worth it"

1, 6, 2  "Take my body to Oried"

1, 6, 3  "We will return"

1, 6, 4  "Ten when the fever hit. Now two. Pray for us."

1, 6, 5  "Mother"

1, 6, 6  "Gone"

2, 1, 1  "Cursed be the King"

2, 1, 2  "Many traps"

2, 1, 3  "Red good black bad"

2, 1, 4  "Don't stop here"

2, 1, 5  "Better than you have died here"

2, 1, 6  "All humans die"

2, 2, 1  "I found love, I lost love, I lost myself, death found me"

2, 2, 2  "Get out while you can"

2, 2, 3  "Ogre to north"

2, 2, 4  A map of a nearby room with a sketch of a battle plan

2, 2, 5  "Go down to go up"

2, 2, 6  "The wraith has three fingers"

2, 3, 1  "Knowledge is worth the price"

2, 3, 2  "Left left right"

2, 3, 3  "Water"

2, 3, 4  "What riddle has no answer?"

2, 3, 5  "We are brothers"

2, 3, 6  "Hope dies first"

2, 4, 1  "Beware the vaksa"

2, 4, 2  "In ten thousand hells / For ten thousand lifetimes / Ten thousand torments / Are not enough for you."

2, 4, 3  "Strike fast strike hard"

2, 4, 4  "Bring more water"

2, 4, 5  "In the silent room the"

2, 4, 6  "Five leagues southwest"

2, 5, 1  "Lekki was mad I had to kill him"

2, 5, 2  "Silver in well"

2, 5, 3  "A blessing on you, stranger"

2, 5, 4  "Treasure to fill thirty wagons we found here"

2, 5, 5  "Cross the bridge quickly"

2, 5, 6  "Hobgoblins first"

2, 6, 1  A horizontal line with vertical marks every 18 inches, 8 marks total

2, 6, 2  "8311"

2, 6, 3  A large square on the floor, as if outlining a trap or pit

2, 6, 4  "Time"

2, 6, 5  "The blue masks do not"

2, 6, 6  "We fought four witches here"

3, 1, 1  "Hall of kings"

3, 1, 2  "Captain will return"

3, 1, 3  "Weep, wretch"

3, 1, 4  "Cut off that which weakens you"

3, 1, 5  "No time"

3, 1, 6  "All returns to dust"

3, 2, 1  "The Manican Brothers passed here"

3, 2, 2  "Turn aside from wrath"

3, 2, 3  "The arrow of Sebburus flies straight"

3, 2, 4  "In the depths we found a place where the dead walk. We will not go back."

3, 2, 5  "I am the last"

3, 2, 6  "Frogs or snakes"

3, 3, 1  "No life after this"

3, 3, 2  "I abandoned my friends and they died. It's true, I am a coward. You would run too, if you saw what I saw."

3, 3, 3  "Keretz can't fight. He's no better than a mule."

3, 3, 4  "This place my tomb, and this my epitaph"

3, 3, 5  "Last corridor"

3, 3, 6  "Gorgon"

3, 4, 1  "Strength duty loyalty honor"

3, 4, 2  "Elves got Harfan I will"

3, 4, 3  "This Garzhad place you pass you die"

3, 4, 4  "Were they good men or evil? No matter, their gold is mine now."

3, 4, 5  "She has poison"

3, 4, 6  "This is not the end"

3, 5, 1  A group of ten dots in a triangular array

3, 5, 2  Two arrows, one pointing left and one pointing right

3, 5, 3  "XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX" (that's 27 times, if anyone counts)

3, 5, 4  "If you try to run you are already lost"

3, 5, 5  "All is forgiven"

3, 5, 6  "Salt"

3, 6, 1  "I warned him not to cheat"

3, 6, 2  "This is the path"

3, 6, 3  "185"

3, 6, 4  "I hear the bells"

3, 6, 5  "Six are near"

3, 6, 6  "Kemel saw the demon and lived"

4, 1, 1  "Count the teeth"

4, 1, 2  "The son is greater than the father"

4, 1, 3  "Guard"

4, 1, 4  A pentagon with each side numbered, starting with 1 at the bottom and going around clockwise

4, 1, 5  "Cast off all burdens"

4, 1, 6  "We drew lots for the sacrifice. It was the only way. We will remember you, Tekfas."

4, 2, 1  "Stand your ground"

4, 2, 2  A circle divided into quarters

4, 2, 3  "Three months and five days"

4, 2, 4  "Two to go"

4, 2, 5  "The wizard Zo is a poor employer"

4, 2, 6  "Know the hour"

4, 3, 1  "No swords"

4, 3, 2  Three arrows pointing right

4, 3, 3  "The tower"

4, 3, 4  "Stay out of the mist"

4, 3, 5  "Worms"

4, 3, 6  "Drink not from the cup of despair"

4, 4, 1  "Looks bad"

4, 4, 2  "Turn"

4, 4, 3  "Survive"

4, 4, 4  "No one hears prayers in this place"

4, 4, 5  "Tomb empty"

4, 4, 6  "Leave the dead to the dead"

4, 5, 1  "Ruby cursed"

4, 5, 2  "Stand on the stone at the back of the south chamber. Turn three times, face the wall, and pronounce the name "Theken" three times. Great will be the blessing."

4, 5, 3  "The omens have proved that I shall triumph"

4, 5, 4  "I stand and wait"

4, 5, 5  "Seven swans, seven swimming swans, swimming circles, seven swans"

4, 5, 6  "The men of Regeg-Hol are cowards"

4, 6, 1  "Judgement"

4, 6, 2  "We agreed to equal shares, but we did not share in death"

4, 6, 3  "I see your skull beneath your face"

4, 6, 4  "There"

4, 6, 5  "No torches"

4, 6, 6  "A-larkey lay lie lie"

5, 1, 1  "Both ways"

5, 1, 2  "We are illusions, you and I"

5, 1, 3  "Six shadows east maybe more"

5, 1, 4  "The priests of the great temple in Lutar-peng are corrupt"

5, 1, 5  "Human elf dwarf gnoll orc gnome" All of these except "gnoll" is crossed out

5, 1, 6  "Do not run across the bridge"

5, 2, 1  "Make haste"

5, 2, 2  "I dreamt I was the sky"

5, 2, 3  "I did not know such beauty could exist in the world"

5, 2, 4  "Why do they dance?"

5, 2, 5  "The prisoner deserves his fate"

5, 2, 6  "I cannot find the passage"

5, 3, 1  "Gleefully we arrived, sorrowfully we depart"

5, 3, 2  "There is a new king under the earth"

5, 3, 3  "That elf deserved it"

5, 3, 4  "Enough graves"

5, 3, 5  "The skin has come loose"

5, 3, 6  "Catastrophe"

5, 4, 1  "Tunnel under bridge"

5, 4, 2  "I should have brought more rope"

5, 4, 3  "Our maps are worthless"

5, 4, 4  "A panther stalks me"

5, 4, 5  "When the third bell tolls, the sparrow flies"

5, 4, 6  "Blood in the water"

5, 5, 1  "They won't stop laughing" repeated over and over again. If someone bothers to count, 52 times.

5, 5, 2  "The statement below this one is true" / "The statement below this one is true" / "One of these statements is false"

5, 5, 3  "Bring a gift for the golden man"

5, 5, 4  "Right two, left three, right one, left one, right three"

5, 5, 5  "Master Metri cheats at cards"

5, 5, 6  "The greatest virtue is stubborness. The greatest sin is stubbornness."

5, 6, 1  "The good are not great and the great are not good"

5, 6, 2  "Dwell not on idle questions"

5, 6, 3  "Break the jar"

5, 6, 4  "Listen"

5, 6, 5  "Sharat"

5, 6, 6  "Better orcs than rats"

6, 1, 1  Six crescents facing rightwards

6, 1, 2  "She is watching"

6, 1, 3  "Of all the evils that dwell here, the hornets were the worst"

6, 1, 4  "The fool of a wizard brought us here for a book. Can he read it while he's dead?"

6, 1, 5  "Carry a coin in your mouth"

6, 1, 6  "A cursed arrow strikes twice"

6, 2, 1  "The purest will survive"

6, 2, 2  "Catch mice, catch cats"

6, 2, 3  "You can never get clean down here"

6, 2, 4  "If you have survived the grinding wheels, thank Geppias"

6, 2, 5  A clock face with the hands showing 14 minutes past 7

6, 2, 6  "Unknown unseen"

6, 3, 1  "Which way?"

6, 3, 2  "The Tower"

6, 3, 3  "A faithful heart is my shield"

6, 3, 4  "Silver and gold, silver and gold / Are not such treasures as you've been told"

6, 3, 5  "Light the fire, douse the fire"

6, 3, 6  "The moss gives you blisters"

6, 4, 1  "Do you hunt me, or do I hunt you? Let us meet in the crypt and end this."

6, 4, 2  Two vertical lines, half an inch apart, running from floor to ceiling

6, 4, 3  "We killed the creature and threw its body into the fire. The skull would not burn. We buried it here. If the gods are merciful, it will not rise again."

6, 4, 4  "Mystas is no hit with the ladies"

6, 4, 5  "The demoness has fled this lair. We seek her next in Pertegua."

6, 4, 6  "If we walk in the lands of the dead, where shall our spirits know peace?"

6, 5, 1  "The mind sharpens the blade, the blade sharpens the mind"

6, 5, 2  Four squares arranged in a square

6, 5, 3  "Time emptied these halls, and time will fill them yet"

6, 5, 4  "I hope that those who read this are not as lost as I"

6, 5, 5  "Speak my name and be free"

6, 5, 6  "I swear by all the gods that if I am delivered from this hell I will build a chapel at Menhad"

6, 6, 1  "Illumination"

6, 6, 2  "Hail Uld, god of warriors, protector of men in battle"

6, 6, 3  "There are three tribes of orcs, and they will fight each other if you can provoke them"

6, 6, 4  "Cold"

6, 6, 5  An alchemical symbol -- roll on the Random Alchemical Symbol Table

6, 6, 6  "Goodbye"

Circus Sophia Portrait

Here's the Circus Sophia, the adventuring party in my GURPS fantasy game.

L-R: Esmond, Quexechetl, Sophie, Talman, Ganz, and Fiorio

Please note that Quexechetl should actually be tan in color, and Ganz's cape should be green. We have to work with the Legos we've got.

Those plastic bases are exactly 1 inch across, which works out great for me because we normally play on a hex mat. You can get them from Cat's Paw Productions here. They come in two-stud and four-stud versions, and cost US$1 each.

Random Alchemical Symbol Table

In case you suddenly need to whip up a recipe for a potion. Or perhaps you'd like a mysterious symbol to appear somewhere.

Please note that alchemical notation varied widely, and I make no representation that the symbols I use here are the best or most common symbols used for any particular substance. They are all drawn from reputable sources, and I picked the ones I liked.

Roll 1d6, 1d6

1, 1 Earth
1, 2 Water
1, 3 Air
1, 4 Fire
1, 5 Gold
1, 6 Silver
2, 1 Mercury
2, 2 Copper
2, 3 Iron
2, 4 Tin
2, 5 Lead
2, 6 Zinc
3, 1 Arsenic
3, 2 Antimony
3, 3 Bismuth
3, 4 Cinnabar
3, 5 Borax
3, 6 Lodestone
4, 1 Aqua Vitae
4, 2 Aqua Fortis
4, 3 Aqua Regia
4, 4 Vitriol
4, 5 Oil
4, 6 Milk
5, 1 Amber
5, 2 Alkalai
5, 3 Ashes
5, 4 Soap
5, 5 Nitre
5, 6 Quicklime
6, 1 Sal Ammonaic
6, 2 Salt
6, 3 Sulfur
6, 4 Verdigris
6, 5 Vinegar
6, 6 Wax

Special Collections -- a campaign idea

Here is a lighthearted approach to hunting monsters that I thought would be fun. As with most of my ideas, whether campaigns or one-shots, I'll probably never have the time to run it.

Name: Special Collections

Genre: Monster Hunters

The Background: Since the late 19th century, strange artifacts and curious specimens have found their way into the collections of the Smithsonian Institution. Over time, other federal and state agencies began to rely upon the Smithsonian to clean up anything situation that carried the whiff of the occult. During the 1930s and through World War II, these situations grew from mere curiosities to serious threats to the welfare of the nation. In 1948, after the Roswell crash showed that the Air Force was unprepared to deal with extraterrestrial threats, President Truman officially gave responsibility for all paranormal investigations to the Institution, including alien visitations, hauntings, cursed artifacts, demonic possessions, esoteric technologies, and infestations of undead.

The Organization: The Smithsonian Institution is the nation's formost authority on paranormal phenomena and technology. It is led by Secretary G. Wayne Clough (Georgia Tech '64),  a practical-minded leader and a civil engineer by training. The Secretary serves under the 17-member Board of Regents, a body made up of prominent politicians and academics and which includes Chief Justice John Roberts and Vice President Joe Biden. The Institution's vast collections and state-of-the-art research facilities serve a staff of 17,000 scholars and researchers, a select few of whom work in the area of Special Collections.

The Team: You are a member of the Special Collections Office of the Smithsonian Institution. You are an expert in a field covered by one of the member museums of the Institution. You might be an expert in extraterrestrial biology and technology working in the National Air and Space Museum, or an expert in secret societies working at the National Museum of American History, or an expert on cryptozoology working at the National Zoo. Alternately, you might be a liaison from the Library of Congress, specializing in holdings from Class X: Secrets Man Was Not Meant to Know. But you're not just a scholar -- you're a member of the Field Team, trained in the practical side of collections as well as the academic. You are on call around the clock, ready at any time to pack your revolver, bullwhip, and field guild

The Mission: Whatever your background, your job is simple: discover, locate, and collect objects of paranormal interest for return to the Institution, where they can be studied and kept from harming the public. In some cases -- many cases, actually -- the artefacts or specimens may put up a fight, and it's your job to quietly subdue them while minimizing public danger and public exposure. Remember, intact specimens are more valuable to science. Typical jobs would be preventing General George Armstrong Custer from recruiting young Army veterans into his Ghost Cavalry, trapping a wendigo that wandered down from Canada, or thwarting the aliens who are still trying to recover the wreckage from that crash in Roswell. Oh, and visitors to the National Portrait Gallery have been disappearing lately -- could you look into that?

Map of Lodea

Here's where my GURPS fantasy campaign takes place. My cartography is not the best, but having a map is better than not having a map.

Lodea is situated just west of an isthmus that connects two continents. To the east is Hevria, the multinational civilization of which Lodea is a part. To the west is the Gondan Empire, an aggressive, expansionist empire that has invaded Lodea and is trying to incorporate it as a province. To the south, across the sea, is Turria, an arid land divided amongst many feuding tribes.

To the north is the Bekel, a mountainous area that was once home to dwarven kingdoms, until orcs and dragons invaded and drove the dwarves out. That's where the Circus Sophia is right now.

Yeah, my mountains kind of look like Hershey's Kisses, don't they? My next map will be better.

Optional rules in Basic Set

On the GURPS forums recently, Refplace started a thread on which optional rules are suitable for which genres of play. The discussion, unfortunately, did not get very far, but it made me think about listing which optional rules I use.

To do this, I thought I'd better figure out what the optional rules are, to begin with, so I flipped through Characters and Campaigns and listed all the rules that are labeled optional, or that include language like "the GM may wish to allow..." or "the GM may wish to prohibit...."I was a little surprised at how many there are. I was also surprised to find out what's on the list -- techniques as a whole, for instance, are explicitly optional. I never knew that before.

So here is the list. Rules I use in my campaign are in bold. Rules I don't use are struck through. Rules that don't even apply to my campaign (TL3 fantasy) are in small text. Rules that I probably would allow, but I've never thought much about it because it's never come up, are in italics.

Limitations on Status unless accompanied by Wealth or Rank in classless societies, B28
Potential advantages, B33
Exotic and Supernatural traits, B34
Alternative Attacks for Strikers, B61
Custom Talents, B91
Modifiers, B101
Limited Enhancements, B111
Buying off leveled disadvantages one level at a time, B121
Wildcard skills, B175
Techniques, B229
Omitting racial traits, B262
Modifying Dice + Adds, B269
Malfunction for firearms and grenades, B279, B407
Maintaining skills, B294
Influencing Success Rolls, B347
More detailed jumping rules, B352
Extra Effort in combat, B357
Fast damage resolution for multiple hits, B379
Tactical combat, B384
Changing posture in armor, B395
Bulletproof nudity, B417
Cannon fodder, B417
Cinematic explosions, B417
Cinematic knockback, B417
Flesh wounds, B417
Infinite ammunition, B417
Melee etiquette, B417
TV action violence, B417
Dual-Weapon Attack, B417
Bleeding, B420
Accumulated wounds, B420
Last wounds, B420
Starvation and Dehydration, B426
Losing advantages or gaining disadvantages through aging, B444
Player-created races, B451
New inventions, B473
Funding for inventions, B474
Detailed HP calculation, B483
Damage to shields, B484
Time use sheets, B499
Shared campaigns, B504

Game Session 2013/01/27

Sophie O'Griffin, human, the leader and ringmaster. Played by EM.

Esmond Gellert, human, trick-shot archer and dog trainer. Played by MK.

Ganz, elf, stage magician and wizard. Played by JC.

Quexechetl, lizard man, strongman and wrestler. Played by KF.

Talman, half-elf, acrobat. Played by JM.

Fiorio, human, a peasant with a knack for playing to the crowd that the circus picked up along the way. Played as an NPC.

June 25, 850

When we last saw our adventurers, they had followed the boy-king Miklo, who had strayed away from his army, to an old dwarven lookout post in the Bekel. Ganz's spell revealed that there were enemies somewhere behind the door that led into the mountainside, and the circus performers heard footsteps approaching from the other side....

Sophie pushed King Miklo behind her, Talman and Quexechetl faced off against the door, and Esmond drew and nocked an arrow. All eyes were on the door, as it opened and revealed not orcs, but goblins.

Quexechetl was caught a little off because he was expecting orcs, but Talman's spear and Esmonds arrows quickly dropped the three goblins. Sophie turned to grab King Miklo and carry him to safely, and saw a stranger standing in the doorway, also trying to grab the king. Sophie was quicker. She swept up the King and pushed past the man to get the him outside.

"And they shall call me...Goblin-dropper!"

JM (Talman)

"Come, boys, get out of there," the stranger called to the King's companions. The two other boys weren't sure which way to go, but then Fiorio ushered them outside. By that time, the action with the goblins was all over. A quick check past the door showed a narrow corridor that ran into the mountain for a half-dozen yards and then turned to the left. It carried on as far as the dim light that Ganz conjured would show.

Outside, Sophie saw that the man had a companion, an elf. From their clothes, Sophie figured they must be scouts in the employ of one of the lords marching with the army -- or, perhaps, that was only what they wished to look like. They carried bows and wore cloaks, the human's gray, and the elf's a patchwork of greens.

King Miklo wanted to go back and see the goblins, and with the danger past, everyone figured there was no harm in it. It turned out that two of the goblins were alive, though unconscious. Sophie roused one of them and questioned him. After a few false starts, she learned that he spoke no Lodean, but some broken Gondan. Terrified and in great pain from the arrow in his chest, he told them they were scouts, and a ways down the passage -- "tunnel and tunnel and tunnel" -- there was a fortress with a great many orcs. Sophie thought this might be useful intelligence, so she bandaged up the goblin and had Quexechetl carry him back down the mountainside.

King Miklo and his two friends came along willingly, since they had seen about all that there was to see at the lookout post. The two strangers, scouts or whatever they were, said they were traveling with Lord Haimel. Once the King was back with the army and his regular bodyguards caught sight of him, Sophie asked what he thought should be done with the goblin. "We ought to find Count Anelmo," he decided. So they marched toward the Count's banner.

Count Anelmo proved to be someone of consequence in the army. He was gathered with a number of other noblemen, including Lord Fels. Sophie noticed Lord Fels quietly shake his head at her, but she wasn't sure what that meant. She showed the noblemen the wounded goblin and explained what they had learned, but her audience was unimpressed. They knew all about the castle, having visited this part of the Bekel in years past, and expected it to be defended. In fact they were waiting for an advance party of knights to return with intelligence.

Since no one seemed to have any use for it or care what happened to it, Talman put the goblin out of its misery. The circus left the king with his knights, and went back to their wagon as the army got moving again.

It was not long before they came into sight of a ruined city, or at least a large town, with a somewhat less ruined castle overlooking it. Sure enough, the walls were defended by orcs. While the baggage train set up a camp, the knights and men at arms began to make sallies against the castle, testing the resolve of the orcs and looking for weak spots in their defenses. It was late in the day, so they made no more than a few charges.

Sophie thought she ought to call on Lord Fels and let him know about the man and the elf who had been at the dwarven lookout. He was not at his tent, so she waited. Meanwhile, the other members of the circus put in a little practice at their various arts. While Esmond was practicing archery, he noticed that he had gained an audience: the man in the gray cloak.

He introduced himself as Borov, and complimented Esmond on his skill. He said  that he and his elven friend, Lutzog, planned to go hunting in the morning, and asked Esmond if he would like to go along. Esmond agreed, and Borov said he would find the circus's tent around dawn.

Sophie, meanwhile, waited until after sundown for Lord Fels to return. One of his servants invited her into his tent, and she told him about the day's events. Fels agreed that the two supposed scouts were a little suspicious, and asked her to keep an eye on them. She left, found out where they were camping, and chatted them up over the campfire. She learned that they been with the army since Nalfavor, where they entered the service of Lord Haimel, a Willanese. They seemed to be on the up-and-up, not trying to hide anything, so after a few rounds of dice (in which Sophie won a few pennies) she returned to the circus tent.

The performers conferred and decided that Borov and Lutzog merited a close watch and some precautions, so Quexechetl was volunteered to go with Esmond on the hunt the next morning.

June 26, 850

Just at dawn, Borov and Lutzog showed up at the circus tent. Esmond explained Quexechetl's presence by explaining that he could flush game for the three archers, and the two scouts made no objection. Quexechetl was worried that the army would attack the castle while he was away and he would miss his chance to fight orcs, but word around the camp was that the army wouldn't make their big push that day.

The hunting party set out for the hills. Esmond bagged a rabbit, but as for bigger game, between the Lodean army and the orcs it seemed to have already been hunted out. Around noon they all sat down to eat and watch the probing attacks the king's army was making against the old castle. This caught Quexechetl's attention very well, and Lutzog, the elf, sat beside the lizardman and kept up a running commentary on the battle.

A little ways away, Borov sat beside Esmond and worked the conversation around to Esmond's choice of occupation. Wasn't it a bit odd, he asked, for a man of Esmond's obvious talents to make his living as an entertainer? Didn't he think that there was more he could be doing for the good of the world?

Esmond replied that he felt attached to the circus, because they had been good friends of his. Borov spoke plainly, then. He said that he and Lutzog were memebers of a brotherhood of travelers, wanderers of the roads and the wilderness who were dedicated to protecting the helpless from the evils of the world. They had no lord or commander, but answered the call for help whenever they heard it. And if Esmond was interested, he could join them for a forest gathering when they returned to Lodea.

Esmond said he would be glad to, and silently felt relief at learning that the two scouts weren't secretly plotting to kill the king or the Circus Sophia or anything. Borov asked after Panzal, explaining that it was Esmond's hat that made him think he might be a fellow wanderer in the first place.[1] Panzal was just fine, Esmond said, and now that Borov pointed it out, he could see the Panzal's meticulous workmanship in the cloaks that Borov and Lutzog wore.

They made it easier to blend into the rocks and grass, Borov explained, and Esmond agreed that they worked well, since he hadn't seen them at all when he followed the King up to the dwarven lookout.

"I noticed how good you were at not being noticed."

MK (Esmond)

After eating, the hunters returned to their work. Esmond shot another two rabbits and Borov and Lutzog bagged one each. Quexechetl tried his luck with the bolas he had made, but he never managed to find a good target.

Quexechetl's disappointment was magnified when, as the hunters descended from the hills, they saw King Miklo's army make a general attack on the orcs, which went splendidly. The attackers found a weak spot in the wall, breached it, streamed in, and soon had the orcs dead or fleeing in a rout. Quexechetl could only watch from the distance as his chances of getting into the fighting slipped away.

Back at the camp, Borov and Lutzog went their own way, and Esmond explained to Sophie that all the two scouts wanted was to make his acquaintance and perhaps recruit him into a group of informal guardians of the road. All the other entertainers thought this was a bit odd, but agreed that it explained why they might seem to be keeping too close an eye on the King -- it was after all the same thing the Circus Sophia was doing.

All the fighting seemed to be over up at the castle, so the whole circus hiked up to take a look at the aftermath of the battle. They were stopped by a little knot of men-at-arms at the gatehouse, who explained that it wasn't safe inside. Quexechetl immediately asked what the most not-safe part of the castle was.

One of the men began to explain that an ogre was still alive and barricaded in yonder tower, and that the knights were discussing who would get the honor of going in and -- when suddenly, with a great crash, the ogre bashed through the crumbling stonework of the old castle and leapt out.

The ogre, already with a couple of arrows in his back, sprang up and ran for the ruins of the city. Quexechetl was after him like a rabbit. Esmond and Talman, seeing that Quexechetl was determined to fight something that day, chased after, and the rest of the circus trailed after them.

Esmond alternated running and shooting, and though he put three arrows into the ogre's leg, he didn't seen to slow him down at all. Quexechetl threw his bolas, but they just wrapped around the ogre's waist, apparently doing him no harm. The ogre was huge, probably eight or nine feet tall, and ran with gigantic strides. He had opened up a lead of about fifty yards when he reached the walls of the ruined city and disappeared inside.

Quexechetl was behind by only a few seconds, but saw nothing but streets overgrown with grass and tumbled-down walls when he entered the city. He looked around in vain, but when Esmond and Talman caught up, Esmond was able to spot the tracks and trial of blood easily.

The ogre hadn't gone far. A little ways down the street, he had found another ruin to hole up in. Quexechetl immediately charged in. The ogre threw a massive stone block at him, but it missed, and fortunately also missed Esmond, right behind him. Quexechetl ran forward and grappled the ogre with both arms and his jaws.

The ogre screamed and pounded at Quexechetl, who hung on and found the ogre's throat with his teeth. Though the hide was awfully tough, the lizardman tasted blood, so he knew he must be doing some harm. Esmond, meanwhile, poured arrow after arrow into the huge creature, while Talman stabbed at it with his spear.

The ogre managed to connect with Quexechetl twice, and the lizardman took a couple of blows that would have flattened most men, but the fight was soon over. Talman had stabbed the ogre in both eyes, blinding him, and in winding up to swing at Quexechetl, the ogre managed to pound his elbow into the wall behind him, breaking it and making his arm useless.

The other members of the circus, arriving just after the fight started, weren't of much use. Sophie tried to help out by snagging one of the ogre's legs with her cloak in order to trip him, but all she managed to do was get the cloak torn off her back after entangling a leg. At the end, Fiorio even tried to make an attack with a knife, but he missed, and the final blow went to Talman.

"And they shall call me...Ogre-dropper!"

JM (Talman)

Seeing that the fight was over, Ganz dropped the spell he had been preparing, and instead cast a magical cleaning spell over the others' clothing, since they were covered in ogre blood. Right behind them, the circus heard the sound of knights and men-at-arms approaching.

Wrapping it up

Yay, a fight! And a potential plot hook for further use! I glossed over it above, but Quexechetl, besides working his bite on the ogres throat, also tried Wrench Neck a couple of times, which was utterly ineffective, the ogre being so monstrously strong. I think Quexechetl was a little disappointed that the others were responsible for most of the damage.

[1] Fiuzo Panzal is the eccentric, reclusive alchemist that the Circus got most of their magic items from. Panzal offered them in exchange for capturing and returning some of his foxhawk hybrids that had escaped.

My combat crib sheet

Folks over on the G+ GURPS community are talking about combat cheat sheets. If you haven't seen ONKL's Combat Maneuvers Cheat Sheet, it's an extremely useful resource.

But ONKL's sheet has firearms rules on it, which I don't need for my fantasy campaign, and the type is very small, which would be a problem for some. So using ONKLs sheet as a basis (okay, okay, blatantly ripping off ONKL's work) I made my own version. I cut out the hit location effects, the weapon stats explanations, and everything to do with firearms.

Here is the result, in pdf format and in Microsoft Word format, in case you want to edit it yourself. The sheet includes:

Combat maneuvers
Attack options
Active defenses
Defense options
Damage types
Size and speed/range table
Hit locations
Critical hit table
Critical miss table
Posture effects table

I hope the links work properly. I tried using Google Drive, but no matter what I did, I couldn't get it to share the files without requiring a login.

Is this blog on? How do you work this thing?

That's odd. It seems my earlier random table, for generating random animals, didn't get published. Well, it's there now.

Edit: oh, and also this post on a game I'd like to run but probably won't ever get to. Am I just hitting the wrong buttons inattentively, or what?

Random Golem Table

Really, this table is just an excuse to make up some variations on your basic golem. There is a particular Gygaxian pleasure in saying "okay, if this thing exists, then it must exist in all of these variants, each having its own special traits, because one type of anything is never enough."

The golems are all based on the stone golem statted in Dungeon Fantasy 3, p. 26.

Random Golem Table

Roll 1d.

1 Clay Golem
2 Stone Golem
3 Brass Golem
4 Bronze Golem
5 Iron Golem
6 Lava Golem

Clay golem. As stone golem, except ST 18, HP 25, DR 0, punch (12): 1d+2 crushing, maul (12): 3d+6 crusing, or two-handed sword (12): 3d+4 cutting. These golems are formed of soft and yielding clay, and weapons are likely to get stuck in them. Treat any successful cutting, piercing, or impaling melee weapon attack as if the weapon were a pick, requiring an ST roll and a ready maneuver to pull free. See Picks, B405.

Brass Golem. As stone golem, except ST 22, HP 32, punch (12): 2d crushing, maul (12): 4d+6 crushing, or two-handed sword (12): 4d+4 cutting. Brass golems are electrically charged. In combat, anyone who touches a brass golem or strikes it with a metal melee weapon takes 1d burning damage from the electricity, unless somehow insulated (with leather gloves, for instance). Anyone who grapples with a brass golem takes the damage and must also roll vs. HT or fall unconscious.

Bronze Golem. As stone golem, except ST 23, HP 35, DR 5, punch (13): 2d+1 crushing, maul (13) 4d+7 crushing, or two-handed sword (13): 4d+5 cutting. Bronze golems are tuned to ring like a bell when struck. Anyone within 1 hex of a brass golem struck by a crushing or cutting weapon takes 1d crushing explosive damage from reverberations, and if in close combat, must make an HT roll to avoid stunning.

Iron Golem. As stone golem, except ST 25, HP 40, DR 8, punch (14): 2d+2 crushing, maul (14): 5d+5 crushing, or two-handed sword (14): 5d+1 cutting.

Lava Golem. As stone golem, except ST 24, HP 30, FP 20, DR 3, DR (fire/heat only) 50, punch (12): 2d+1 crushing +1d burning, maul (12): 4d+8 crushing, or two-handed sword (12): 4d+2 cutting. Lava golems are formed of a mass of molten rock with a barely solidified crust. They radiate intense heat, causing 1d of fire damage at 2 yards, 3d at 1 yard, and 4d in close combat. Anyone foolish enough to grapple a lava golem takes 5d fire damage per turn, and the golem will attempt to grapple an opponent if it misses three melee attacks in a row. Any crushing or cutting attack that penetrates DR splashes the golem's molten innards around, striking anyone withing 1 yard on a 9 or less for 1d fire damage.

Unlike other golems, lava golems have Fatigue Points. Its FP is only depleted by cold damage, from which it loses an amount of FP equal to the HP loss. Until it is destroyed, it regains this FP at the normal rate for living creatures.

Stone Golem: see Dungeon Fantasy 2, p. 26.

Technique: Human Shield

Here's a new technique I made up for my campaign at the request of a player. (KF, who plays the lizardman Quexechetl.) It's certainly cinematic, and not many could pull it off, but this PC has ST 18 and Wrestling-18. He ought to get something for all the points he's spent.


Human Shield                            Hard

Default: DX-4, Judo-4, Sumo Wrestling-4, or Wrestling-4, cannot exceed default +2.

Use Human Shield to move your opponent, or some part of your opponent's body, into the way of an oncoming attack. You are at a -3 for attacks from the side. You cannot use a Human Shield defense
against an attack from behind.

To use this technique, you must first win a Quick Contest with your opponent as explained in Martial Arts, p. 118, Shoving People Around. Each contestant uses the highest of ST, DX, or best grappling skill. If you are successful, you may Block with your opponent as a shield. Use (Human Shield/2)+3 as your Block
score. Apply the standard bonus for Combat Reflexes, but not Enhanced Block. If you fail, you cannot attempt another Active Defense!

Your "shield" does not grant you any Defensive Bonus, and you are at a further -1 if you are grappling your opponent anywhere but the Torso. You may make repeated Blocks in the same turn at a cumulative -5, but each Block requires a successful Quick Contest as above. In order to combine this defense with a Retreat by dragging your opponent with you, you must also win a second Quick Contest.

If your Block succeeds, the blow strikes your opponent and he takes damage as if the attack were intended for him.

This is a cinematic technique and may only be improved by a character who has Trained by a Master or a Weaponmaster specialization that includes shields.

---

My thinking: Shield has a default of DX-4 (B220), so this technique ought to have a default at least that difficult. The opponent attempting to strike you already has a -2 for striking into close combat (B392), so you don't get any Defensive Bonus.

For a wrestler who's merely good, with ST 12 and Wrestling-14, say, this technique will be disastrous. You are likely to win the Quck Contest against someone with ST 10 and Wrestling-12, but the odds aren't something you want to depend on. Even if you succeed, you'll be trying to Block at (14-4)/2 + 3 = 8, which is not that great.

Quexechetl, on the other hand, wins the Quck Contest quite dependably, and Blocks using Human Shield at (18-4)/2 + 3 +1 = 11 (he has Combat Reflexes), which is better than his Dodge and gives him a chance of inflicting extra damage on his grappled opponent. So it's a technique that only going to be useful against a mob of inferior opponents, which is what I was aiming for.

Sadly, Quexechetl has yet to acutally use this technique, because he usually manages to incapacitate an opponent in one turn anyway. But now that they're up in orc country, who knows....

Introducing, for 2014...the Chrysler Barbarian!

When we're on long road trips, my wife and I sometimes play a little game with the makes of cars we see. Going solely by the name, we like to ask, "If that car were in a role playing game, what would it be?" And then we rank them by coolness factor.

The best cars, of course, are the ones that would be character classes -- the Ranger, the Scout, the Cavalier, the Charger. When you think about a role playing game, you think about what you want to be, and that's what makes these the best.

Also pretty cool are weapon cars: the Cutlass, the Dart, the LeSabre (sort of), the, um...well, there just aren't that many of these. If we're willing to include motorcycles, there's the Katana. Immediately after making up your character, you start buying equipment, and then you spend the rest of your character's career trying to get better equipment, so this group ranks as the second coolest class.

Monsters and fantastic creatures come next: the Thunderbird, the Gremlin, the Phoenix, the Firebird. Also an underused category.

Moving down another notch on the coolness scale, and taking us into the only somewhat cool territory, are NPC classes. The Forester, the Pilot, the Civic (I guess that's some kind of townsperson). NPC classes can still be interesting from a game design point of view, but since you don't play one, they're just not as cool. Should the Centurion go in this group, or is it a PC? I can't decide.

Another step down and we come to the natural animals: the Falcon, the Mustang, the Beetle, the Impala, the Panda. These are still things you might encounter in a game, but just not as exciting as the higher categories. (That's right, in RPG terms, a Gremlin or a Dart is cooler than a Mustang. Deal.)

Next there's a mish-mash of all sorts of different concepts: skills (the Stealth), mechanics (the Focus), terrain types (the Tundra, the Outback), quests (the Expedition), bad rolls on the random weather table (the Tornado).... These aren't interesting enough to worry about what's cooler than what. But at least these are all things that have an obvious function in an RPG. Unlike the next group.

Now we're down to things like the the Elantra or the Camry. Seriously, what is that supposed to be? An NPC's name? An exotic, faraway country? "Hey, want to play this new adventure I just got? It's called Caravan to the Frontier of Lumina. You're supposed to fight the evil wizard Prius." Lame. You could have picked an awesome name like the Hydra, General Motors, but instead you went with the Optra. And that is why you're no longer the world's largest carmaker.

Last, the lowest of the low. The F150, the 911, the X5, the CR-V -- table entries or page references at best. The A4? That is a size of paper. It's like they're not even trying to appeal to the gamer demographic. Some of the really low numbers could be die rolls, I guess, but that's still boring. Even if you're a GURPS player, you don't find much excitement in driving a Mazda 3.

So clearly, there's a lot of room at the top. Where is the Mitsubishi Sorcerer? The GMC Paladin? The Dodge Falchion? The Mercedes Golem? (Come on, that could be a heavy truck or something.) Fine, no one is going to want to buy a car named the Bec de Corbin, but there are still plenty of cool RPG names out there. Carmakers of the world, get on it.

(Full disclosure: my own car's name is nothing to brag about. It could be a MacGuffin, I suppose. "Your mission is to find the Miata, a mystical artifact that was believed lost in the great war of....")